Gratitude and the Burden of Caring

So you also, when you have done all that you were ordered to do, say, ‘We are worthless slaves; we have done only what we ought to have done!’

Luke 17:10 (NRSV)

Goodness, it’s been a long time since I’ve written a post! It hasn’t been for lack of matters to reflect on, though. If anything, there have been too many matters. There has been some sickness in my family, some extra responsibility in my day job, a new novel that I self-published, and a score of other minor triumphs and tribulations. But nothing compelled me to make the time or space to sit down and write here until two weeks ago, when I had to have my cat of sixteen years put to sleep.

That probably seems like an odd catalyst for reflection. It seemed odd to me. Odd that I’d be so pensive over losing a pet. After all, I’d certainly experienced more profound losses in the not so distant past. But my cat, Sméagol, had been my companion through some of my most formative and volatile years. In fact, he was there during many of the events and situations that inspired me to start this blog.

Not long after learning Sméagol was sick and that it would only be a matter of time before he would be in too much pain to have a good quality of life, I started reminiscing about all the years of companionship and laughter he had brought me. The more I remembered, the more I realized how grateful I was to have him. And as much as I wished I could keep him with me indefinitely, I knew that after all he'd done for me, the least I could do for him was to ensure that he didn’t suffer needlessly.

Similar gratitude came to my aid when some of my older family members became sick and needed help with various things. Remembering all their acts of love over the years bolstered my spirit to do what needed to be done despite fatigue, worry, and stress.

Gratitude is a powerful force. Unlike obligation, its more austere and calculating cousin, gratitude isn’t forever weighing out expectation and duty on a scale and striving to make it balance. Gratitude is much more joyous and free. Fueled by love received, it is driven to respond and to try to mirror that love. Gratitude knows that love is inestimable, knows that the scale will never balance, and knows that any deed done to reciprocate is the very least that can be done in the face of such a gift.

More than obligation or haphazard affection, gratitude is the impetus for a steady, intentional kind of love.

In my life, one of gratitude’s most important functions has been its ability to motivate when the burden of caring grows heavy. When choices are difficult, emotions are high, heartache is deep, and questions run rampant, gratitude has provided the resilience to inspire action.

Now, I certainly don’t have a prescription or an exercise regimen for building gratitude. Judging from my behavior sometimes, I am the least qualified to address it. Yet I know that, gratitude, like all good spiritual seed, is scattered on the soil of our hearts, ready for the Sower to nourish.

So, today, this is my prayer for you and me:

God of grace and indiscriminate love, teach us to live as grateful people. Open our eyes to the blessing around us, to the countless ways you offer love every single day. Delve deep into our memories to uncover past blessing, past goodness, and past expressions of kindness. Give us clarity to see the grace in even the most painful recollections. Fill our minds and hearts with so much love, that it has no choice but to overflow in acts of service and mercy worthy of You. All this we ask, in the name of the One who endured suffering and shame for the joy that was set before Him. Amen.